Because I sent out the blog URL to some people on my Christmas card list, I am updating it. For those that are just hearing the news about my brain surgery (and complications) I am sure you are thinking, WTF?!
I know, me too. Before the surgery, I thought it would be nothing. Not exactly a day a the spa, but I thought since I spent 9 months getting the absolute best surgeon in the world (not an exaggeration) for this procedure, I would be fine. It ended up not so fine. With all the complications, I really didn't have it in me to notify everyone afterwards what happened.
Anyway, how am I now? I am better but not great. My hearing on my right side has plateaued to "profoundly deaf". That means I can hear a jet engine if it's 1 centimeter from my ear but not much else. Once again, I am being extremely literal. That's what the hearing specialist said.
My balance/vertigo is improving. Even though I have no balance on my right side, the brain is plastic enough that with enough physical therapy, it will adjust so I am pretty functional. This means about 80% balance. I'm getting there but not there yet.
Now compared to other people of my advanced age-- I'm doing swell--- even if they didn't have botched brain surgery. (yes, it's botched-- by my definition if you are left deaf on one side and have no balance, are always feeling slightly nauseated, and do not have the same athletic ability, and this only happens when a nerve is completely damaged, it's botched. ) Everything is relative. Compared to the average person, I look/act/run fine. And you would never know anything was wrong unless you noticed I always have to turn my head so I can hear you on my left side. So most people think the surgery went great and I'm completely back to normal. But they are wrong. Compared to my old self-- it stinks. My hand eye coordination for tennis is not the same, running always leaves me woozy, and just walking in a straight line without a lot of thought is difficult. And forget ice skating. Plus, I have zero hearing depth perception. Everything sounds like it's on my left side and stereo sounds like a beat up AM transitor radio.
The main reason I seem to be physically normal is because I was at the top 1% and now I'm stuck in the middle. I'm saying this here because in person, it's just a pain in the butt to explain to everyone I meet that just because it's convenient for you to think I am 100%, I am functioning at a much lower level and I do not want to be told that I am wrong to say otherwise. Unless you lost your hearing, balance and hand/eye coordination, do not tell me that everything is fine.
That being said, I am ultimately glad that I got the surgery. The twitch in my eye was starting to affect my whole face and moving down my neck. I could never do more than a Mona Lisa smile in pictures and it was getting worse. I sometimes couldn't read my eye twitched so much.
My holiday message--- appreciate the health you do have.
Susan
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